“One thing you are in control of is your attitude and your mind. You can always find a little bit of freedom there. That’s really where liberty starts and ends.”
This week on the Free Cities Podcast we continue our series of interviews recorded in Prague and my third guest is Pavla Karon.
Pavla is what I would describe as an anarcho-capitalist entrepreneur and mother… Labels aside, she’s also a super interesting person to talk to who has much to say on the subjects of freedom and liberty, especially in the context of parenthood and relationships.
Our conversation goes in many directions but in particular we discuss subjects such as what it was like growing up under socialism, bringing up free children, digital nomadism, tools for staying free and the importance of the path to inner freedom, particularly in relationships. On that subject, in her own marriage Pavla and her husband of 10 years practice something called ethical non-monogamy, a relationship strategy that she sees as a natural extension of her libertarian beliefs.
This is a fascinating conversation that was constrained in time by my busy schedule but I will certainly be recording a part two in the future.
Automatically Generated Summary
Section Overview: The host introduces the podcast and the guest, Pavla Karon.
00:22 About Pavla Karon
Section Overview: Pavla Karon is an anarcho-capitalist entrepreneur and mother who grew up in Czechoslovakia during socialism. She talks about how her parents’ experiences with socialism shaped her upbringing and her family’s right-wing thinking.
Growing Up Under Socialism
- 00:02 Pavla was born in 1984, five years before the fall of the Berlin Wall.
- 00:03 Her parents grew up under socialism and were heavily shaped by it.
- 00:03 Small things like not being allowed to see The Beatles had a big impact on their lives.
- 00:04 In the last few years leading up to the revolution, there was no public support for socialism anymore.
- 00:04 Pavla’s family was naturally right-wing thinking because they saw America as the biggest enemy of socialism.
- 00:05 Her family is still pro-liberty and right-wing thinking.
02:11 Understanding Left-Wing vs. Right-Wing
Section Overview: The host asks about left-wing vs. right-wing terminology in Czech Republic.
- 00:02 The host is confused about left-wing vs. right-wing terminology in Czech Republic.
- 00:06 Pavla explains that left-wing refers to socialists while right-wing refers to those who are pro-liberty.
05:44 Defining Political Terms
Section Overview: In this section, the speakers discuss the shifting definitions of political terms such as liberalism and conservatism.
Traditional Liberalism vs. Modern Liberalism
- Traditional liberalism is almost the opposite of how it’s used today.
- Today, someone who is liberal would be associated with left-wing politics.
Shifting Definitions of Conservatism
- Someone who was a traditional conservative 20 years ago may now be labeled as far-right.
- The labeling depends on who is doing the labeling.
Libertarianism and Political Labels
- Many people are now classed as right-wing, including libertarians.
- Being pro-liberty does not necessarily put you on a wing.
06:40 Upbringing and Political Dialogue
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker talks about their upbringing in a libertarian-minded household and how political dialogue was encouraged at home.
- The speaker grew up with libertarian-minded parents who were into rock and roll.
- They had interesting conversations about politics at the dinner table.
- The speaker cherishes being able to disagree with their parents without anger or labeling.
- They try to instill this value in their own children from an early age.
07:01 From Conservatism to Anarcho-Capitalism
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker discusses their shift from traditional conservatism to anarcho-capitalism and their belief in capitalism as a solution for society’s problems.
Turning Away from Traditional Conservatism
- The speaker turned away from traditional conservatism towards libertarianism and anarcho-capitalism.
- They believe that everything should be private and nothing should be forced for society to function well.
Core Belief in Capitalism
- The speaker is a core capitalist and loves reading Rothbard’s essays.
- They believe that everything should be private without exceptions.
08:15 Free Market vs. Regulation
Section Overview: In this section, the speakers discuss the free market and regulation, and how they affect society.
Has Free Market Been Tried?
- People often say that the free market has never been tried.
- However, many areas of life that are not regulated are governed by voluntary principles.
- A large part of human interactions is already voluntarized.
- Unregulated areas of life are governed by unspoken rules that we all abide by.
- Areas of human interaction that do not work well tend to be over-regulated.
- The more you regulate, the worse it gets.
09:50 Top-down Decision Making
Section Overview: In this section, the speakers discuss top-down decision making and its implicit violence.
Implicit Violence in Top-down Decision Making
- Top-down decision making introduces implicit violence because there is always a threat at the end of the decision chain if you don’t comply with certain rules.
- There is a gun at the end of the decision chain.
10:28 Living a Voluntarist Utopia
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker discusses how to live in a voluntarist utopia and how it can be achieved.
Creating Your Own Life
- 11:06 The speaker believes that creating your own life is crucial to living in a voluntarist utopia.
- 11:28 Interpersonal relationships, raising children, and running businesses are all areas where individuals have control over their lives.
- 12:09 The speaker suggests following the lead of children when raising them in a voluntarist way.
- 12:29 Children are born with an innate sense of freedom and strong will. Parents should not damage this innate ability by intervening too much in their lives.
13:27 Homeschooling and Parenting Styles
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker talks about homeschooling and parenting styles.
- 13:27 The speaker’s eight-year-old child attends a community school by choice.
- 14:04 The child loves attending the community school because she is incredibly social.
- 14:25 The speaker’s parenting style is less interventionist while another parent may be more authoritarian.
- 14:46 Scale is important when considering different parenting styles.
15:26 Parenting and Rules
Section Overview: In this section, the speakers discuss their approach to parenting and rules. They talk about how they give children a framework within which they can make decisions, but also regulate them when necessary.
Allowing Children to Make Decisions
- 15:53 The speaker believes that children need a framework within which they can make decisions.
- 16:14 However, she also acknowledges that children can make terrible decisions if left to their own devices.
- 16:36 For example, children may eat too much sugar because they have no way of regulating it.
Importance of Rules
- 17:18 The speaker notes that some families allow their kids to grow up without rules, resulting in complicated lives for the parents.
- 18:23 While the speaker believes in allowing children to make decisions, she also recognizes the importance of rules.
- 18:58 Rules should be bottom-up and agreed upon by everyone in the family.
- 19:17 The speaker admits that sometimes it is necessary to put her foot down with her kids.
- 19:38 She tries to explain why certain rules are in place and rarely raises her voice or physically punishes her kids.
20:30 Teaching Children Self-Worth
Section Overview: The speakers discuss the importance of teaching children self-worth and how it can impact their development.
Importance of Being Liked
- Teaching children to do simple things that adults appreciate can reflect positively on them.
- Being a liked person at a young age can help build a foundation of self-worth.
- However, relying solely on external validation for self-worth is unhealthy.
Learning from Natural Consequences
- Children are like learning machines and naturally notice their surroundings.
- Natural consequences, such as stomach aches from eating too much candy or having no friends due to poor behavior, can be valuable lessons.
- First-hand experience is more valuable than being told what to do by parents.
21:26 The Burden of External Validation
Section Overview: The speakers discuss the burden of relying on external validation for self-worth and how it can lead to people pleasing behavior.
Slippery Slope of External Validation
- Relying solely on external validation for self-worth is a slippery slope.
- People pleasing behavior can stem from needing external validation and approval.
- Society also demands certain behaviors that contribute to this burden.
Learning Self Advocacy
- It’s important to know oneself and navigate life based on personal values rather than other people’s expectations.
- Conflict avoidance is unhealthy, so it’s important to approach conflict intelligently and not be afraid to speak up for oneself.
- Maintaining natural tendencies towards self advocacy in children is important.
24:20 Social Skills vs. Personal Values
Section Overview: The speakers discuss the importance of social skills while maintaining personal values and avoiding sacrificing one’s own needs for others.
Connection with Others
- Having connections with others is important for social creatures like humans.
- However, personal values should not be sacrificed for the sake of social skills.
- Homeschooling or alternative education can provide a way to maintain personal values while still developing social skills.
25:12 Traditional Education Systems
Section Overview: In this section, the speakers discuss traditional education systems and their limitations.
Traditional Education Systems
- 25:12 Schools teach children what to learn based on arbitrary curricula.
- 25:27 Children are naturally driven to learn but schools do not teach them what they want to learn.
- 25:46 Grades do not work and can demotivate children from learning.
26:04 Technology and Education
Section Overview: In this section, the speakers discuss how technology has made traditional education systems redundant.
Technology in Education
- 26:04 Memorizing information is no longer necessary due to technology.
- 26:24 The correct way of teaching is to teach children how to find answers rather than memorize them.
Section Overview: In this section, the speakers discuss transhumanism and its potential implications.
- 26:45 Transhumanism involves integrating technology into the human body.
- 27:09 The natural evolution of technology could lead to technology being embedded in our consciousness.
- 27:48 There are concerns about transhumanism leading to a two-tiered society and being hijacked by governments for surveillance purposes.
- 28:58 Once the cat is out of the bag, people will likely want to integrate technology into their bodies voluntarily.
29:56 Predicting the Future and Maintaining Freedom
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker discusses the difficulty of predicting the future and how technology will impact state surveillance. They also talk about the human desire for freedom and how to maintain it in oppressive scenarios.
Technology and State Surveillance
- The speaker believes that predicting the future is difficult, but we can extrapolate from past trends.
- They predict that technology will continue to advance, leading to increased state surveillance.
- However, they also believe that voluntarist efforts to counteract this surveillance will increase as well.
- The result will be a middle ground where individuals can use privacy apps and other tools to maintain their individual freedom.
Human Desire for Freedom
- The speaker notes that all great stories throughout history are libertarian in nature – they involve someone fighting against a power.
- They believe that striving for freedom is part of the human condition.
- Children are born with an innate desire for freedom, which suggests that it is a natural human state.
- While external freedoms can be taken away at any time, true freedom comes from being in command of your own mind.
Maintaining Freedom in Oppressive Scenarios
- The speaker suggests that maintaining freedom starts with yourself and your own mind.
- Even in oppressive scenarios like living under COVID restrictions, you can still live as a free person if you are in command of your own mind.
- The speaker notes that they have seen data suggesting social media is damaging to young girls’ mental health and plans to restrict their children’s access accordingly.
35:10 Social Media and Children
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker discusses her views on social media and children. She believes that social media is not suitable for young children and that parents should limit their access to it.
Restrictions on Social Media Use
- The speaker knows many intelligent people who do not allow their children to use social media.
- She allows her eight-year-old daughter to use an iPad but only with apps that she approves of.
- The speaker would not allow her daughter to use TikTok or other similar apps as they are not suitable for young children.
Narcissism in Social Media
- The speaker has noticed how narcissistic people have become due to social media.
- People take more pictures of themselves now than ever before, which was not the case when the speaker was younger.
- Instagram and other similar platforms encourage users to seek external validation through likes and comments.
36:44 Need for Validation
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker talks about the need for validation in society and how it relates to social media.
Seeking External Approval
- People seek external approval through likes and comments on social media platforms like Instagram.
- This behavior is driven by a desire for validation based on looks, lifestyle, or wealth.
Mitigating Against Validation Seeking Behavior
- The speaker believes that individuals should focus on changing themselves rather than trying to change society.
- By cultivating a mindset where one does not depend on external structures like social media, one can be happy anywhere in the world.
- While building parallel structures like free cities is important, it is equally important to work on oneself since any structure can collapse at any time.
39:11 Traveling and Comfort Zones
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker talks about her experiences traveling and how it has helped her get out of her comfort zone.
Benefits of Traveling
- The speaker has lived in Hungary, Portugal, and the US.
- She enjoys traveling because it puts her out of her comfort zone.
- Traveling helps one to shake things up and experience new things.
39:48 Starting an Online Business While Traveling
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker talks about starting a business while traveling and how it gives them the freedom to work from anywhere. They also discuss their online business of making customized guitar pedals and amps.
Starting a Business While Traveling
- The speaker started their business while traveling because it is fully online and not location-specific.
- They make customized guitar pedals and amps that are limited edition and done by data printing.
- The beauty of doing limited editions is that they can move on to the next project once it sells out, which keeps them constantly challenged and creative.
Valuing Time Over Money
- The speaker values time massively, especially now that they have children.
- They would never give up their independence and self-sovereignty in exchange for money by scaling their business into a huge organization.
- Ultimate wealth is time and freedom, so giving that up for more money is not a good trade.
43:15 Moving to Prague with a Baby to Start a Business
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker talks about moving to Prague with their family to start a new life. They discuss the challenges they faced financially as well as adjusting to having a baby while starting a new business.
Moving to Prague with Family
- The speaker moved to Prague with their family because it’s such an easy city to live in with unparalleled cost of living for comfort.
- They decided to move after having a baby as they wanted something different in life.
- Despite facing financial challenges, moving was one of the most fun times of their life.
Starting A New Business With A Baby
- Starting a new business with a baby was challenging but also rewarding.
- It allowed them to be creative and have fun choosing colors and artwork for their products.
- The speaker advises anyone with an opportunity to do something completely different to take it.
44:34 Freedom in Berlin
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker talks about the level of freedom in Berlin and how it compares to other places.
Freedom in Berlin
- 44:34 The speaker talks about the huge level of freedom in Berlin where one can walk around with a beer or have a bonfire in the forest without being bothered.
- 44:54 The speaker mentions that having bonfires is illegal in the UK and finds it sad that people cannot enjoy such activities.
- 45:14 The speaker recalls an experience they had at a local park in Berlin where families were having barbecues on the grass under Parliament, which would not be allowed in the UK.
- 45:32 In a toungue-in-cheek way, the speaker notes that despite the Reichstag’s tendency to catch fire, people are still allowed to have barbecues there.
Nudist Section of a Park
- 46:01 The speaker talks about their experience walking through a park in Berlin and stumbling upon a clearing where people were naked and barbecuing. They express their appreciation for such freedom.
Changes Over Time
- 46:20 The speaker acknowledges that while Berlin is fantastic for its level of freedom, it is getting more hijacked by certain crowds.
- 46:35 The speaker shares a story about parties springing up every couple of days during summer on their street near Mauer Park. They recall an incident where firefighters sprayed partygoers with water from their engines, which would never happen elsewhere due to pressure to conform.
- 47:54 The speakers discuss how enjoying life and being spontaneous is what makes us human. They note that even those in power would find certain activities fun but are restricted by top-down governance.
49:14 The Importance of Humor and Memes in Politics
Section Overview: In this section, the importance of humor and memes in politics is discussed. The conversation covers how humor can be used to resist oppressive regimes, the role of libertarians in creating political memes, and the healing power of humor during difficult times.
Humor as a Tool for Resistance
- 49:14 People in power often don’t understand jokes or satire.
- 49:33 Authoritarians often ban comedy because it can reveal uncomfortable truths.
- 49:51 Making fun of everything is a national feature of Czech culture, even under cruel regimes.
- 50:30 Comedy is often the last bastion of truth.
The Role of Libertarians in Creating Political Memes
- 50:48 Libertarians should get better at making memes to reach a wider audience.
- 51:05 The right wing is generally better at making memes than the left wing.
- 51:23 Anyone can create political memes and post them on the internet.
The Healing Power of Humor During Difficult Times
- 52:02 Humor can provide a much-needed dopamine and serotonin boost during dark times like COVID lockdowns.
52:20 Finding Freedom Within Oppressive Systems
Section Overview: This section discusses finding freedom within oppressive systems. The conversation covers how cultivating inner freedom can help individuals cope with external oppression, using examples from literature about surviving dire situations.
Cultivating Inner Freedom
- 52:20 Building structures outside oneself is temporary; cultivating inner freedom is permanent.
- 52:38 One’s attitude and mind are always in one’s control, even in dire situations.
- 52:54 Victor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning” is an example of finding freedom within the Holocaust.
- 53:14 Cultivating inner freedom is crucial to surviving difficult times.
53:50 The Power of Positive Thinking
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker talks about how our minds tend to default to negative thoughts and how liberating it can be to realize that we don’t have to listen to them. She emphasizes the importance of finding a place of stillness and calm in our minds, especially during extreme circumstances.
Negative Thoughts and Finding Stillness
- 53:50 Our minds tend to default to negative thoughts, especially during external crises like COVID.
- 54:20 It’s important to realize that in most scenarios, we are safe and fine in the present moment.
- 54:39 We can turn off negative thoughts by finding a place of stillness and calm in our minds.
- 55:37 Finding freedom within ourselves is crucial for dealing with extreme circumstances.
55:01 Intelligent Action Requires Calm Thinking
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker discusses how reacting from panic or fear is not conducive to intelligent action. Instead, she emphasizes the importance of calming our thoughts before taking action.
Calming Our Thoughts for Intelligent Action
- 55:01 Reacting from panic or fear leads to defensive or aggressive actions that end up hurting us.
- 55:22 To take intelligent action, we need to calm our thoughts first.
- 55:37 Finding freedom within ourselves helps us make more informed decisions during extreme circumstances.
56:24 Responsibility and Burden
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker talks about responsibility as a burden but also as something that gives meaning. She discusses how some people prefer being told what to do because it takes away some responsibility.
Responsibility as Burden and Meaning
- 56:24 Responsibility is a burden, but it also gives meaning to our lives.
- 56:48 Some people prefer being told what to do because it takes away some responsibility.
- 58:06 Being dishonest towards ourselves by pretending or going against our beliefs hurts us more in the long run.
57:10 External Pressure and Validation
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker talks about external pressure and validation. She discusses how some people feel pressured to conform to societal norms or expectations.
External Pressure and Validation
- 57:10 External pressure can come from societal norms or expectations.
- 57:27 Some people feel pressured to conform for validation or acceptance.
- 57:47 It’s easier in the long run not to pretend and deal with potential consequences than to be fake.
58:47 People Pleasing and Nomadic Lifestyle
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker discusses people-pleasing as a personality trait and how it can be beneficial or harmful. They also talk about their nomadic lifestyle and how it gave them a sense of freedom.
People-Pleasing Personality Trait
- People-pleasing is a personality trait that can be both good and bad.
- It’s important to explore whether people-pleasing is benefiting or harming oneself.
- There are benefits to getting along with people well, but when it starts to be at one’s own expense, it becomes harmful.
- The speaker went traveling to see the world, challenge themselves, and have a blank slate in new countries.
- Traveling gives an unlimited sense of freedom and allows for reinvention.
- The right kind of traveling creates amazing memories that benefit one for the rest of their life.
- External responsibility decreases during travel which can feel liberating but not always good.
01:01:24 Benefits of Traveling
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker talks more about the benefits of traveling and shares personal experiences.
- The speaker felt the freest during two times in their life – early 20s while traveling and again in their 30s while traveling.
- Traveling gives an amazing sense of freedom that comes from lack of external responsibility.
- Challenges faced while traveling give confidence in one’s ability to overcome obstacles.
Benefits of Traveling
- The right kind of traveling creates amazing memories that benefit one for the rest of their life.
- Traveling allows for exposure to different cultures which broadens perspectives.
- It provides opportunities for personal growth through challenges faced while navigating new environments.
01:02:29 Nomadic Lifestyle and Future Travel Plans
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker talks about their current lifestyle and future travel plans.
- The speaker’s life is wonderful now, and they don’t feel the need to escape from it.
- They are considering going somewhere again for two months just for a change of scenery.
Future Travel Plans
- The speaker was grounded during COVID due to having a baby but is now considering traveling again.
- Traveling provides a change of scenery and can be beneficial for personal growth.
01:03:27 The Human Condition and Connection
Section Overview: In this section, the speakers discuss the human need for connection and how not having any external responsibility for years is not a good human condition. They also touch on the topic of being single in later years through choice.
Thriving in the Long Run
- Not having any external responsibility for years is not a good human condition to have.
- Humans crave connection with other people.
Being Single in Later Years
- People who have been traveling for a long time are often single.
- Being single in your later years through choice is an interesting choice that signifies something.
- Having a long-term partnership with someone is difficult, and not everyone is happy with monogamous relationships.
01:04:10 Ethical Non-Monogamy
Section Overview: In this section, the speakers discuss ethical non-monogamy as an alternative to mainstream relationship structures like monogamy. They define ethical non-monogamy and differentiate it from polygamy.
What is Ethical Non-Monogamy?
- Ethical non-monogamy means that two consenting adults are in a romantic relationship but it’s not a monogamous form.
- There are different approaches to ethical non-monogamy.
Differences Between Ethical Non-Monogamy and Polygamy
- Polygamous relationships are legal in some countries, but they’re not truly meant to be questioned culturally.
- Ethical non-monogamy involves two adults coming together to structure their relationship the way they want it to be.
01:06:10 Monogamy as Cultural Evolution
Section Overview: In this section, the speakers discuss whether monogamy is natural or unnatural. They explore why monogamous relationships evolved culturally and the reasons behind it.
Is Monogamy Natural?
- People have different preferences, and some are happy in monogamous relationships while others are not.
- Cheating scandals and broken marriages show that monogamy is difficult for a majority of people in the long run.
- There’s quite a lot of debate among academics about whether humans are naturally monogamous or not.
Cultural Evolution of Monogamy
- Monogamy evolved culturally to ensure property rights and to limit access to females to ensure that offspring is truly yours.
- Humans are not the only species that practice monogamy, but it’s rare with animals.
01:08:31 Wodaabe traditional culture and Dating
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker talks about a traditional Wodaabe tribal event in which men dance and women pick the men they like. Men beautify themselves to appeal to women, and the relationship dynamic is seen as men jostling for position to appeal to the highest value female.
- The Gerewol event dance involves women picking the guys they like.
- Men beautify themselves to appeal to women.
- Relationship dynamic is seen as men jostling for position to appeal to the highest value female.
01:09:12 Dating Pool Dynamics
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker discusses how dating pool dynamics work. He explains that every man knows that in the dating pool, it’s like the best guy gets the catch. However, it’s always up to the woman who chooses.
Dating Pool Dynamics
- Best guy gets the catch in dating pool.
- Final word always seems to reside with woman.
- Women are in their prime when they’re younger.
01:10:08 Bumble and Monogamy
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker talks about Bumble and how it harnesses a dynamic where only women can initiate conversation. He also discusses monogamy and how it solves one of society’s problems by preventing high-value men from taking all of the women.
Bumble and Monogamy
- Bumble harnesses a dynamic where only women can initiate conversation.
- Monogamy prevents high-value men from taking all of the women.
- Disenfranchisement is not having a female partner or being able to have sex or kids.
- Top 20% males get 90% of responses on dating apps due to Pareto distribution.
01:13:44 The Importance of Human Interaction
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker discusses how physical appearance and a few words on a dating profile are not enough to truly know someone. They also talk about the importance of human interaction beyond just swiping on a dating app.
Physical Appearance vs. Human Interaction
- Physical appearance and a few words on a dating profile are not enough to truly know someone. 01:13:44
- Human interaction involves pheromones, body language, and other factors that cannot be conveyed through a dating profile. 01:14:00
01:14:18 Overcoming Pain in Ethical Non-Monogamous Relationships
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker talks about their experience with ethical non-monogamy and how it can be painful for some people. They also discuss where jealousy comes from and how it can be healed in the right relationship.
Pain in Ethical Non-Monogamous Relationships
- Ethical non-monogamy can be painful for some people. 01:14:18
- Jealousy often comes from past trauma, fear of abandonment, low self-esteem or insecurities. 01:14:35
Healing Jealousy in Relationships
- Jealousy is not an innate emotion but rather something we learn from society. 01:15:01
- In the right relationship, jealousy can be healed by addressing its root causes such as past trauma or insecurities.01:15:01
01:15:23 Love and Commitment in Non-Monogamous Relationships
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker talks about love and commitment in non-monogamous relationships compared to monogamous ones. They also discuss their personal experience with ethical non-monogamy and how it has evolved over time.
Love and Commitment in Non-Monogamous Relationships
- Love is an infinite resource that can be given to multiple people. 01:17:57
- Non-monogamous relationships can still involve love, commitment, and long-lasting bonds. 01:16:09
Personal Experience with Ethical Non-Monogamy
- The speaker’s initial position was that they could never handle ethical non-monogamy but their perspective has since changed. 01:16:44
- The speaker’s current arrangement involves a primary partner but without limiting each other’s experiences with others.01:16:25
01:18:32 Monogamy vs Non-Monogamy
Section Overview: In this section, the speakers discuss monogamy and non-monogamy in relationships. They explore the idea that being non-monogamous does not necessarily mean a lack of commitment to one’s partner.
Monogamy is not a solution to relationship problems
- 01:18:50 Long-term relationships can have terrible moments but they can also result in a better experience of life.
- 01:19:41 Enforced monogamy may be cultural, but it doesn’t fix problems within a relationship.
- 01:20:03 Being committed to each other is more important than being monogamous.
Non-monogamy requires conscious decision-making
- 01:20:22 Non-monogamous relationships require careful consideration and communication between partners.
- 01:20:41 Freedom comes with risks, but it’s important to make decisions based on happiness and abundance rather than fear.
- 01:21:18 It’s crucial to approach relationship decisions consciously and mindfully, designing an arrangement that works for both partners.
Personal preference plays a role in choosing monogamy or non-monogamy
- 01:21:34 Choosing between monogamy or non-monogamy should be explored consciously and mindfully.
- 01:22:14 Personal preference plays a significant role in deciding whether to choose monogamy or non-monogamy.
01:23:38 Exploring Non-Monogamous Relationships
Section Overview: In this section, the speaker discusses the validity of non-monogamous relationships and how they can lead to more freedom, joy, and open communication with one’s partner. The importance of exploring major life choices consciously is also emphasized.
Non-Monogamy as a Viable Option
- 01:23:59 Cheating on one’s partner is not a solution for strong urges; instead, opening up the conversation with one’s partner about non-monogamy can be a viable option.
- 01:24:17 Building something different than the status quo through parallel structures can lead to more freedom and joy in relationships.
- 01:24:33 Although exploring non-monogamous relationships may not be easy, it can lead to honesty and open communication with one’s partner.
- 01:24:50 Major life choices such as raising kids should be explored consciously before making decisions that align with personal values.
- 01:25:07 Voluntary non-monogamy between consenting adults is ethical.
- 01:26:04 The ethical part of non-monogamy is important because many people are not aware that their partners are not monogamous.
- 01:27:22 If given a sabbatical year without having to worry about money, the speaker would travel perpetually to warm countries.
01:28:24 Importance of Podcasts and Traveling
Section Overview: In this section, Timothy Allen talks about the importance of podcasts and how they have changed his life. Pavla also discusses her love for traveling and experiencing different cultures.
Life-changing Experiences with Podcasts
- 01:28:24 Tim shares that he has had life-changing experiences while listening to podcasts.
- 01:28:42 He believes that the ability to listen to people talk from anywhere in the world is a recent development made possible by the internet.
- 01:29:21 While he prefers face-to-face interactions, he acknowledges that traveling can be expensive.
Love for Traveling
- 01:30:00 If given a year without commitments, Pavla would travel with her family to warm places like Asia.
- 01:30:17 She loves trying street food and has even been hospitalized due to food poisoning but still thinks it was worth it.
- 01:31:01 Pavla finds happiness wherever she goes but admits that moving with a family can be emotionally challenging.
Pros and Cons of Nomadic Lifestyle
- 01:31:27 There is a debate on whether the nomadic lifestyle works better for younger people or not.
- 01:31:48 Moving frequently can be emotionally challenging for children who don’t wake up in the same house every day for an extended period.
- 01:32:05 However, traveling provides exposure to different cultures and experiences that cannot be achieved through static lifestyles.